The Girl With Saggy Pants In The Cosmetic Aisle

I always wake up 3 minutes before my alarm, and it drives me crazy.

I brew a pot of coffee and head to the shower.

I flex in the mirror as I wait for the water to get warm.

I use Axe for my body wash and Coconut Conditioner for my hair.

I dry off and throw on some boxer briefs and a sports bra.

I finish with some mascara and cologne.

I use men’s products. I wear men’s clothing.

I burp and fart in public. I hit on girls at the club.

I would rather watch sports than go shopping at the mall.

I answer when I hear “bro.” I wear ties and collared shirts.

I look forward to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

This is me.

However, I’m a woman.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m comfortable in my own skin.

And I’m confident in my actions.

I’m the girl with saggy pants in the cosmetic aisle.

That’s who I am, and I’m proud of it.